For two mortal men to combine three great restaurants was not going to be an easy task. The fast food conglomerates of Taco Bell, Wendy's and McDonald's had no idea what abomination was brewing.
After that startlingly dramatic introduction, we'll fill you in on a few of the details. We were going to do an All-Star Mash up, hoping that the combinations wouldn't mash up our insides. This was going to be a very starchy meal... but I digress.
First we went to Taco Bell to obtain the culinary heavyweight known as the 1/2 pound cheesy potato burrito. We included the Burrito Supreme for good measure, this was not needed but the smells were glorious. They emanated from the bags the grouchy, acne faced young man who hated his job handed to us. After he forgot a burrito and our sauces, I asked for them. He took his time. So i asked my esteemed associate "If he was ever going to give them to us." the young man must have heard me, because he all but threw them at us.
Poor form, misguided Taco Bell employee. Poor form. The more you try to get me to hate Taco Bell, the more you'll drive me back into her arms.
Next we went to McDonald's. We ordered two Large fries. We were starting to get hungry because of the glorious tasty smells. So we ordered two McDoubles for the road.
Last but certainly not least was Wendy's. She greeted us with a smile and those red pig tails she always wears to welcome weary, hunger stricken travelers like ourselves. We ordered a 10 piece nugget, 2 small chilies, and 2 junior bacon cheeseburgers.
At last our ingredients were ready! We scurried back to our food-place with our food-stuffs.
It was glorious to see such a holy union of flavors all in one place. Our forefathers would be proud! They would also be full -- full of proud! We didn't have a table at our current location, but improvised using Man Theory. I believe that Man Theory is a way of improvisation, albeit crude improvisation, but nonetheless it works!
We began transforming the flavors into an eclectic powerhouse!
To answer your question, yes, we were in an anti-gravity environment. This produces the richest and freshest flavors known to all man- and alien-kind. This was a moment that echoed through the halls of the universe.
I started my tasty trifecta of flavor, by unwrapping the thunderous 1/2 pound burrito, adding chili topping that with fries and nacho cheese. Then I moved on to the Junior Bacon Chee. I popped the top and put the unwrapped Burrito Supreme inside. Then piled Fries high on it, adding nacho cheese for good measure.
The fate of the remainder of the fries was to be made into the pinnacle of deliciousness: Chili cheese fries. I drizzled the rest of the chili on top, finished off the Nacho Cheese and I was ready to start trippin' in a dream-world of flavor!
This crowning achievement would make even the strong-hearted food connoisseur tremble.
I started in on my meal of thanksgiving. After I finished the burger, I knew I had made a grave miscalculation. It became more a point of pride to finish the burrito after that. I was not going to disappoint my favorite fast food chains! How could I? After they had faithfully provided me with great tasting food at half the effort!
No, I was determined to finish this. As i started in on the burrito, I got the sweats. It compared to sweats you get in a fairground port-a-potty in mid-August. You could try your best to get comfortable, but without any luck. The harder i pushed the more my body yelled for me to stop. My brain knew better -- bodies can't talk. I worked for what felt like most of the
night. This was hard labor, of a delicious nature.
This heavyweight meal beat me. The flavor was too much for me and I consigned my defeat to the french fries that were left in their chili marinade.
I was a broken man for not being able to finish off my plate. Although it was a paper plate. Luckily, I would not have to pull off a Michel Lotito performance for dessert. That eased the pain of defeat a smidgen, but offered no solace.
(To be continued...)
